– XI –

Do you expect servitude from your submissive/s? How do you define servitude and service? What does it mean to you? If you do not seek or expect servitude from your submissive/s, what is it about the concept of servitude that is not for you?

Servitude and service, there’s a difference. The former is a state, the latter a series of acts that can comprise the former. Service in servitude. And no, I don’t expect servitude from submissives unless it’s been negotiated and agreed upon. I also don’t expect service unless it’s been discussed and agreed to. At this juncture, I have to say that I don’t have expectations of anyone unless there has been agreement to the development and establishment of a dynamic. This, I’ve found, can be off-putting to some, not having expectations; however, it is how I operate. With over 18 years of recovery, I’ve found expectation to be an ingredient for resentment when not met and I don’t the time or bandwidth to carry such things.

As a Dominant, perhaps it’s expected that I demand service; I don’t. Mainly because I am extremely independent and self-sufficient. I can get my own coffee and shine my own boots, I have no qualms about it. I don’t fly off the handle if something doesn’t get done. I can pay my own way, do my own work, and get myself off just fine.

Now, if someone wants to serve me, that’s a different story. When that is the case, I give grace to the person with an aptitude for devotion. While there may not be an established dynamic, if it fulfills something for someone to serve, I’ll allow it. If a prospective submissive wants to develop a dynamic with me, there are a lot of hurdles to jump over and they must uphold motivation throughout.

As I stated before, servitude is a state; meaning a state of being of service. In the context of M/s-D/s, it’s a slave or boy or whatever the agreed-upon label is. Currently, I am developing a dynamic with a boy with the intent to be my slave when he becomes local. Right now, I can only do so much as I’m very much a hands-on kind of guy. I’d like to have him here so I can fully realize the roles we have and the dynamic we’re building. Pictures and text do no justice to the real thing when I can see and feel him with me.

Why have I not found anyone local to train to be in servitude to me? Well, to be frank, it takes time, patience, communication, and willingness. It’s the work of getting to know someone and differentiating between the fantasy and the reality. Most often, when I’ve introduced the reality of service and servitude, it’s a dealbreaker because it isn’t the hot and heavy fantasy they’ve craved. These are the guys that want a 24/7/365 TPE situation and want to be kept so they won’t have to think or feel for themselves. They are also guys with little to no experience who want the hardest, heaviest play with absolutely no limits. I’ve learned to introduce reality and state what I offer and what I can’t or won’t. None of this has been the case with boy.

The boy came into my life within the last year and we’ve been developing a long-distance dynamic. What I’ve enjoyed is his knowledge and willingness, his maturity and clarity, I just wish he were here in-person so the training can be fully realized. That day will come, I’m sure of it.

Yours In Leather,
SIR Aaron Wolf