– XXII –

Can you feel Dominant without a submissive partner? If so, how does your Dominance express itself? If not, how do you handle your need to be Dominant?

I had to chuckle a little bit when I read this question because the first phrase that popped into my head was, “I DON’T NEED NO MAN TO PAY MY BILLS!” In all seriousness though, yes, I can. I’M Dominant about 90% of the time with or without a submissive partner. MY Dominance does not rely on others to be active nor do I possess a need to be Dominant. I just am, it’s that simple.

In daily life, MY Dominance expresses itself by Presence. I’M a quiet person by nature and I’M economical with MY words and actions. I don’t expend energy on frivolity. This can come across as arrogance or standoffishness; that’s all well and good but that’s not MY perception. One may see ME and think I’M scowling and judging but I could just as easily be thinking about the best creme brulee I’VE ever had or about the all times I’VE stirred someone’s asshole like a hot bowl of chili. I very well could’ve just been scowling and judging. You wanna know? Step up and have a chat.

Daily Dominance, MY daily Dominance manifests as displays of quiet confidence and competence. Almost none of what I do say and do is for the sake and benefit of others, unless that’s the motivation. I don’t have a need or desire for external validation. I know who I am and what I can do, that is enough because I am enough. I DON’T NEED NO MAN TO PAY MY BILLS!

Self-awareness comprises a large part of MY Dominance. If I know how to do something, I do it with confidence and certainty. If I don’t, I ask questions or figure it out on MY own. For example, last night, I came out to the garage and noticed MY tire was flat. Of course, this happened when I had a speaking engagement planned AND it was raining. I surveyed the scene and tried to switch it out with the spare. Realizing I wouldn’t be able to do it without cutting into the speaking engagement, I decided I’D handle it then next day. The Pup did the driving for the evening and things went off without a hitch.

Today, I called AAA and stayed out of the way of the work so it could get done. I wasn’t awake just yet. Taking it to the tire dealership, I was able to have the tire repaired and all the wheels rotated free of charge thanks to the lifetime warranty on the tires. From there, I had the car washed and vacuumed out the car, emptying the passenger seat’s undercarriage that is now formally populated by the carcasses of wayward fries.

So, how does any of that serve as an expression of Dominance? It’s the certainty of action, having a plan, using the resources I have available to address the issues. I didn’t hem and haw about what I could do, I took stock of MY capacities and did what needed to get done. I then rewarded MYSELF with hot and spicy chicken wings.

Dominance isn’t always about dynamics with others, it can be practiced solitarily. I know I’M Dominant and I don’t need to be a jerk about it. I can be horrifically irreverent yet remarkably gentlemanly or ardently sexual yet overtly romantic. MY Dominance has manners and eloquence but requires directness and economy. I don’t need to think too much about what I do if I know what I’M doing, this leaves more time and energy for more fun, sexier things…like stirring someone’s asshole like a hot bowl of chili.

Yours In Leather,
SIR Aaron Wolf