Iterations of Representation

When it comes to representing and advocating for a respective Community, it may be difficult to figure out just how to do that. Focusing on the Leather and Kink Communities, I’ve found that, if one wants to step up and do one’s part, one has to take action, actually step up, and do the work with heart, drive, and a lack of desire for acclaim.

My June 2025 was a busy one full of opportunities to provide a face for my Communities in one way or another. The audiences for each instance varied and it was exhilarating to be able to be present for folx within and outside Leather and Kink. I’m going to briefly review what happened over the month and provide a tip or two at the end of each on how YOU can be help advocate and represent for your own respective Community.

The Event

On Friday, June 13th, I, along with a great team of folx, hosted the monthly gear night at the SF Eagle. I’ve been the Organizer for BLUF San Francisco (BLUFSF) for a few months now and it’s been a great ride. Picking up where my predecessor left off, I’ve enjoyed every instance of BLUFSF HARD, held every 2nd Saturday of the month. In June, HARD was very well-attended and I was pleasantly surprised to see the turnout which can flag some months and pick up in others. I can’t say that this is the case but reactivating the BLUFSF mailing list may have helped get folx in the know, gear up, and come up. It could also have been the near-perfect Leather weather and the fact that it was Pride Month. In any case, it was great to see so many sexy studs in gear coming together.

SIR’s Tips: As the lead for BLUFSF, I’ve found it beneficial to utilize military leadership training. That is, to lead by example and attract folx who want to step up and help, then give them opportunities to be a part of the effort. Since starting, I’ve been able to bring a wonderful group of guys who are willing to help me host whether it be as Ambassadors or photographers. Delegation is a good thing and knowing the skill sets of one’s team members helps out a lot. If you’ve got a skill that you believe can be beneficial to an organization or event, reach out to that entity and volunteer. There are ample opportunities for productive involvement, believe me, you just need to look.

The Parade

On Sunday, June 15th, my Pup, Daddy, and I took part in the Sacramento Pride parade as part of the Leather Contingent. This was my third time being a part of the group and it’s gotten better every year. The first year I took part, I was one of two (seemingly) Leathermen. The next year, the Pups were out in full force. This year, there was a decent turnout, definitely a larger Leather presence which was a great sight to see. I think that the more of Us that show up in gear, the more we demonstrate we are here and have never gone away. I enjoyed using my Command Voice to bark “Happy Pride!” to parade-viewers and waving to the crowd. Men, women, folx, kids, all received a Leathered smile and wave; I found myself energized by the experience, not even minding the long walk in boots before the parade started. Aside from the morose, anti-LGBTQ+ gaggle at a street corner, the crowd of overwhelmingly positive and it felt great to sport my new Hunter Green gear from Leather Etc. and Mister S for the day.

SIR’s Tips: If you’re going to march in gear, wear your most comfortable boots first. If you insist on wearing new boots, break them in well in advance so you’re not torturing your feet. Review the weather before you head out and tailor your outfit accordingly. If you’re carrying a flag, carry it proudly. Smile, wave, and most importantly, have a good time. You never know, your eye contact, your wave, your smile, your greeting could be the thing some Leatherfolx/Kinkster needs to step out on their Journey.

The Demo

“An intimate dance of pain, power & passion in a stunning display of impact play, elegantly delivered by Sir Aaron Wolf & his guest. Prepare to be drawn into an intimate dance of pain, power, and precision as a special guest bottom submits to the skilled hands of SIR Aaron Wolf. Known for his commanding presence and his refined technique, SIR Aaron crafts a scene that is as beautiful as it is intense – a symphony of strikes, sensation, and surrender, this is more than impact play; it’s an evocative performance of trust, control, and exquisite torment. Let yourself be captivated by every moment.“

That was at the intro delivered before I took the stage at this year’s Leather Pride at Sacramento Pride on June 15th, my second year performing at the event. I have to say that the intro, penned by Jayy Wonder, was a great surprise and quite flattering to say the least. What struck me later was that for someone with a high degree of self awareness, I am almost always surprised by how others see me. My response to such things is usually something akin to, “I’m just…doing my job.“

This year was different and I found myself accepting the introduction as fact. Yes, I am skilled and, yes, I do have a presence. That said, I laid out my tools (To which, my Pup told me a young man said, “OMG…”, upon seeing my floggers laid out in a row.) and proceeded to do the work of Dominance for a captive audience with my Daddy serving as my sub.

Now, I’ve developed a process of opening my scenes, a loose framework of impact to tenderize the skin for further sensational administrations. To use a niche comparison, my scenes are akin to a Tori Amos setlist; sure, the first couple of songs are standards for the tour but then the rest of the show varies from the last. Tori has said the set for every night varies based on what the times tell her or what the Muses say and I have to agree. In my case, however, I read my sub’s body and understand his desire while listening to my own kinky Muses. My hands fly over floggers, canes, paddles, pinwheels, and I find my rhythm to draw out a melody of moans and screams.

The scene lasted about 45 minutes which may be short to some but that’s the point of demos, to give the audience a sampler, a mere taste. I found myself feeding off the crowd’s energy and accessed a showman’s attitude, showing off each tool to cheers, and playing the scene with a natural flow. Using my tools and my body, I was able to bring my Daddy to the floaty place as the audience watched. It was an amazing experience and I could feel my confidence was exponentially increased from last year. After I’d unshackled my Daddy and sat him down, I put away my tools and departed the stage. Amid claps and waves, a guy told me, “I learned a few things from just watching you.“, and a woman sat beaming next to him, a smile stretched across her face as she waved. “I did that,” I thought and waved back to the crowd ready for food and a cool place.

SIR’s Tips: If you decide to sign up to demo at an event, know what you’re doing, do it well, and enjoy it. Build up your confidence with experience, seek out that experience by attending play parties or engaging in scenes. What helped me was finding my specialty: impact and sensation play infused with intimacy and sensuality. Once I found my modality, I worked on refining it, enhancing my skill, and building confidence. As a practicing Dom, I had to narrow my scope because, as much as I’d like to know everything about everything, I have my limits and am content with what I can do. The great thing about Kink is that there’s no timeline on when to learn a new thing. I can choose to learn something new and integrate it into my scenes.

Getting back to demos, I’d encourage you to choose a demo bottom you’ve played with before. If that’s not possible, meet with your sub beforehand and discuss limits, negotiate, and come to agreements regarding the scene. Listen to each other and honor your limits and goals. Because this is a demo, don’t be afraid to show it up a little though I’d stop short of meowing on the St. Andrew’s Cross.

Lastly, ensure you’re working with the event organizers and getting the information they need to them in a timely manner. I wasn’t always successful in this aspect and I’m fortunate that Leather Pride folx were gracious to forgive my tardiness.

The SHOW

From June 20th to the 22nd, I performed with the Sacramento Gay Men’s Chorus (SGMC) for the 40th Anniversary Pride Show, Everybody Say Love! I’ve been with Chorus now for three or four years as a Bass and have enjoyed every show, even the holiday shows. This year was different in that I had the opportunity to show off in fetish Leather for the entire Sacramento community.

I’ve got to say that being a part of the Chorus has allowed me to fully engage my Authentic Self as far as Leather goes. I wear Leather to every rehearsal, I designed a music stand with the Leather Pride flag painted on it myself, I answer questions that folx have regarding Leather and Kink, it’s been a wonderful experience to be the Chorus Leatherman and I’m looking forward to continuing the journey.

Back to the show, in the months leading up to the show, I signed up to be the Leather Daddy in the Parade of Queers at the show’s end. We were told we would represent our respective parts of the LGBTQ+ Community. I chose Leather because, well, why the fook not, right?

Anyway, I chose to wear the shiniest gear I had: An x-harness with silver hardware along with silver armbands from Leather Etc.; my Leatherwerks Muir cap trimmed in silver with a laser-cut SIR emblem from Cockeye Kink; my Leather Pride Flag vest from FM Leather Design; breeches, gauntlet wristbands and gloves from Mister S Leather; Embossy boots; and a locally-crafted flogger.

We had four shows this year, I was a little worried that I may have signed up for too much given that I’d have to leave after two songs in the second act to change into my gear each time. That was remedied by wearing my harness and armbands under my shirt in the first act; this helped feel safe and sexy. The first night was a little rough but by the last show, I’d become a pro at undressing and dressing for the stage. To be clear, I’m pretty pro at undressing, too.

Anyway, I, along with others in the Parade walked on to the stage during the second chorus of “We Are Family” and it felt…awesome! To be geared up, showing my Leather Pride, and singing to rooms FULL of supportive folx was a fulfilling experience. I smiled, waved, and choreographied my Leather Heart out every night, feeling more and more proud each time. At the encore, I went back to my spot for “Dancing Queen” where I got to do more dancing and flex for the audience; I think there were cheers but I was riding high at that point. I gave folx behind me permission to grab me for a part of the song.

Me: “You know, if you want to grab on to me when we say ‘You come to look for a king,’ you can.“
Him: “Okay…you give me an inch, I’m gonna take a mile!“
Me: (Looking back) “I’m available for use anytime.“
Him: “OMG, don’t get me all flustered just before the curtain opens!“

Additionally, all of this really tapped in my objectification kink and I was in a sort of bliss every night. My chorus mates remarked on my muscles and liking the view from behind when I’m Leathered up and sweating.

After the last three shows, I stationed myself outside the theater doors and thanked audience members for coming to the show. I was surprised and gratified to shake hands, bump fists, and give sweaty Leather hugs. My nipple rings were stars, one woman remarking, “OMG, those ARE real! I wasn’t sure. (Cupping her breasts in apprehension) My nipples are tingling just looking at them!” Another woman stopped to kiss my cheek and asked for a photo, her remark, “Look! Now, we’re together forever!” A group of women stopped to eat me alive with their eyes, one of them saying she was coming back the next night (She did with her two sons). What can I say, the ladies LOVED the Leather!

As far as guys, one shyly said I looked sexy while several others either nodded politely or averted their eyes.

I’d have to say that this was THE most fun I’ve had in a show since starting with the Chorus. To be allowed to express myself as a proud Leatherman and to show a friendly face for the Leather Community on such a scale was an experience I won’t forget soon.

SIR’s Tips: If you’re part of an organization that allows self-expression and you are a Leatherperson, test the waters by wearing a little bit of Leather. That’s how I started in the Chorus, bit by bit. Now, I’m not going to rehearsal in full kit but I am wearing vest, boots, belt, and armbands now. I love feeling sexy and comfortable especially when I’m learning unfamiliar music. When it comes to stagecraft, it comes down to self-confidence and how much you’re willing to show off. I was showing off nipple rings and armpits but that was okay. I didn’t get any complaints. Know your audience and act accordingly.

The Booth

The month concluded hosting the BLUFSF booth in Leather Alley at San Francisco Pride on Sunday, June 29th with my Daddy. This year, BLUFSF represented on two fronts: In the Leather Contingent in the parade and the booth Leather Alley.

We woke up at 6AM and proceeded to the Leather Alley footprint. The morning was brisk with a breeze blowing through the area thanks to a fog bank lingering off the coast to the north. Leading up the event, we had worked to secure a canopy tent, posters, handouts, and banners. I’d stopped by the dollar store for table covers and table decor. We were set up in no time and waited for the gates to Leather Alley to open at 11AM.

The day was a busy one once the crowded started streaming in. We spoke to SO many folx who wanted to know about BLUF (“What’s bloof?”) and the events we had coming up. The music was pumping, I was talking, the Leather was showing, I was in my element. I’ve always enjoyed outreach whether it be for LGBTQ+ causes and/r Veterans issues. To be able to conduct outreach in the realm of Leather was a dream come true. Over the course of the day, I’d think, “I’m doing this. This is amazing!” I loved being the face of BLUFSF and another face of the Leather Community for the curious and initiated. I received a couple of “WOOFs” over the course of the day which was nice. I even got to practice my waving paw to the Pups that walked by. My Pup was glad I did that as it should I was an ally of the Pups and Pets. Good friend and photographer Cornelius Washington stopped by to shoot my Daddy and I; always good to be in front of his lens. Later on, Photographer Dot stopped by and took some shots of us at our booth..

In the end, the weather won as gusts picked up not only speed but a few unsecured tents. At that point, the crowd was settling down and the temperatures were dropping. It was time to pack up and go. Before that, a good boy stopped by to find me food before helping us take down the tent and stow away the gear. A good friend dropped in and we did some street play before he had to depart. We took the boy to the Eagle and ended the day with a Chinese food dinner before I had to head home.

SIR’s Tips: Believe in the organizations you are a part and do your part in supporting them, strive to reach out to your Communities and let them know you are there. This experience showed me just how much I missed being a representative in an outreach aspect. My Daddy and I put a lot of work in making sure we had information and presentation for BLUFSF. The work showed and we were able make an impact as well as get appreciation from the Leather Alley organizers to be welcomed back in the future.

Conclusion

I wanted to write about all of these instances to not only share with you my experiences but to also provide some insight on how YOU can get involved in your local Leather/Kink Communities. Simply put, sign up and SHOW UP to help, to represent. Given how fooked up the world is these days, our Communities need all the support and togetherness we can get and foster. YOU can be a part of that by looking around and seeing what you can contribute. Do it for you, for your Community, for your Loved Ones. That’s what I do, I’m not seeking validation or accolades because my Heart lies in Leather and Kink, Communities that have helped me become the sadistic, sexy, sweet Leatherman I am today.

Now, get out there and make a difference.

Yours In Leather,
SIR Aaron Wolf

Thank You

Organizers of Sacramento Leather Pride and the Parade Contingent: Thank you all for putting in the work to help us show the greater Sacramento area that the Leather Community is alive and doing sexily well. Special thanks to Jayy Wonder and Seb for ensuring the demo experience was an awesome one.
Organizers of Leather Alley: Thanks to Dandy and Reika for making by first BLUFSF booth experience a wonderful one; you were very supportive and ensured we were taken care of all day. Thank you for your hard work!
Photographers Cornelius Washington (Thank you for being an awesome cheerleader for me; always a pleasure to be in front of your lens!) and Dot (Thank you for stopping by the booth; I’ll be in touch about future possible collaboration.).
SF LGBTQ+ & Leather District for reaching out to have our booth out there.
The Sacramento Gay Men’s Chorus (SGMC): For being there and allowing me to access my Authentic Leather Self; looking forward to being back for the fall!
The SF Eagle: For hosting BLUFSF HARD.
Last but not least, thanks to my Pup & Daddy, good boy Patrick, David, Kevin, my Chorus family, the Bolt, and the San Francisco and Sacramento communities.

A Dominant's Diary

By SIR Aaron Wolf