It’s a gloomy Thursday here in Northern California as we’re in the midst of an atmospheric river. The rain morse codes the windows lightly as the bass bellows of wind sliding across the roof. I’m safe, warm, and content at the moment.

Recently, I was engaged in an exchange that was overwhelmingly one-sided as far as civility goes. Granted, the other party was friendly enough; however, the tone of every paragraph dripped with condescension.

Afterward, I had to reflect on the progress I’ve made as far as handling people within the scene. The first time I attended an event, I was met with several looks that essentially equated to, “Who the fook does this guy think he is? Also, who is he?” Aside from that, there were obvious differences seeing as how I am not the typical Leatherman.

In this recent exchange, I started out assuming goodwill and was met with what I can describe as being “mansplained” to about things I’m well-versed in.

Had I been in my previous mindset, I’d have let that get to me and I’d have shut down right away. In this case, I chose to (as Dean Winchester suggests) “Be like Elsa, let it go.” I did and it worked.

I think it’s easy to get wrapped around the axle about things that don’t go our way especially if one puts a lot of work into something that was ultimately unappreciated.

The positives are that my initiative hopefully lit a fire under the other party’s ass to start carrying out their role. Additionally, the work I’d put in may have been discarded but I know I did a great job, I have the proof in my drafts and finalized products. It sucks but maybe this means more active participation by the other party. I’m not going to gauge anything, I’ll stay in my lane and do my duties.

And honestly, it’s a relief to be able to focus on the role I was tapped to do. I won’t have to worry about taking on extra tasks.

If you find yourself in a situation where your efforts are unrecognized and unappreciated, you have a choice to pull back and refocus. Arguments amount to nothing more than hard words being volleyed around resulting in mutually-assured destruction. No one benefits and everyone is injured. Strive to acknowledge and appreciate your worth, don’t allow anyone to get into your head to tell you what’s wrong with your heart.

There are far more important hills to die upon; save yourself for the fights that do matter in the long run.

Yours In Leather,
Sir Aaron Wolf