– IX –

Do you set and enforce structure, rules and limits as part of your Dominance? Why or why not? How do you feel about the use of structure, rules and limits as tools used to invoke and maintain submission from your partner/s?

Of course I use structure, rules, and limits as part of my Dominance. I think they are essential and, yes, I strive to set and enforce them depending on the dynamic. Presently, I’m fostering a long-distance dynamic with a boy on the opposite coast and structure is essential due to the three time zones that separate us. The time difference introduces complications when it comes to monitoring adherence to said rules. I can’t be there and he can’t be here so there is slippage. We’re slowly building this thing and it’s taking time to figure how to make him feel me all the way across the country.

In local dynamics, my Pup and I have structure. I’m his Husband/SIR/Daddy/Handler/Owner and he is my Husband/boy/Pup. There is more level ground here as we are spouses first-and-foremost. We do have rules, spoken and unspoken, and things have taken a natural progression to where they are now. We care for each other and compliment one another. I am high-strung, spirited, and carefree whereas the Pup is chill, calm, and careful. I’m the wild Wolf and he is the collected German Shepherd.

In my dynamic with my Dad, I’m his Dom and his Son and he is my Daddy and submissive. Let me tell you that THAT tends to confuse and ruffle a few feathers. “But…HOW can that BE? It makes no sense.” To this, I say that dynamics are tailored to the people that inhabit them; there is no set of rules for all dynamics of a certain kind. To those self-proclaimed gatekeepers of BDSM dynamics, I say, it makes sense and works for us so…shut up and eat your pinecone.

Do I have limits? Of course, and anyone out there ought to. That’s one of the few hard rules I have when it comes to prospective submissives: Have limits. And if you believe rolling up to me with “No Limits” is a way to get in my good graces, stop it. “No limits” proponents, I’ve found, are either very inexperienced and/or believe that it will impress a prospective Dom into taking them on. Sure, there may be a Dom out there willing to test your limitlessness but it ain’t gonna be me because no limits is a huge red flag. I file “no limits” alongside being asked to kidnap someone to take them away from their life and being asked to beat someone and give them two black eyes.

We can start small, Mister No Limits, strip down and have a seat at the table. Since you have no limits, I want you do something for me. Yes, put on the bib and grab your fork. I’ve whipped up a treat for you and you are not allowed to leave my table until you’ve eaten every morsel. Are you ready?

Dinner is served.

Now, shut up and eat your pinecone.

Yours In Leather,
SIR Aaron Wolf