“There’s always room for improvement,” as the saying goes and there’s perhaps no place or event truer than CLAW 25. It was Thursday, April 17th when the Pup and I jumped Muir cap first into the fray that is CLAW’s latest Cleveland-based incarnation.

To say that this is a logistical nightmare is putting it lightly as, this year, CLAW housed the event at the I-X Conference Center, a monolithic slab of a building next the airport. More on the I-X later.

Whereas last year, CLAW 24 was held downtown at the Hotel Cleveland in its entirety; this year’s version sees attendees staying in hotels averaging a 20-minute distance from the I-X. The cluster of hotels the Pup and I have found ourselves in was a no-man’s-land at the end of a cul-de-sac pushed behind buildings serving as clinics and what appears to be a…lawyer mall. The nearest food-serving establishment was a few hops, skips, and jumps beneath the freeway. You could spend about 20 minutes walking to a gas station and another 20 minutes walking back. We found that 20 minutes was the average time/distance between, well, everything here.

Because there are no hotels near the airport, CLAW sourced hotel room blocks throughout the area; each on average 20 minutes away. I had a friend staying in another hotel group about 20 minutes away. The same for the Leather Stallion: 20 minutes. As such, one could easily find oneself spending nearly two hours on the road, either on a shuttle or driving a rental car.

Conceptually, one could think of every location as an island and it was up to you to find your way from one to the other. Because of this distance, it was a riddle to try to piece together plans or to just cancel them altogether.

For one, volunteering, classes, dinners, the vendor mart, and dance parties happened at the I-X. For another, other parties took place at the Stallion and a place called the Bird’s Next, each about a mile apart. Keep in mind that these locales were far removed from the hotels and ride options were limited.

One could rely on the shuttles that ran limited hours throughout the day OR rent a car and incur additional costs and have autonomy while spending lots of time on the road OR rideshare while incurring more costs with strangers in the driver’s seat while holding onto some semblance of freedom OR camp out at the I-X somewhere. In every case, there was the matter of getting to and from in a timely manner.

As stated previously, the I-X is a monolithic slab of a building about as ornate as an undecorated sheet cake from your local grocer. The gigantic letters spelling out that it’s the I-X CONFERENCE CENTER betrays nothing. You know what you’re getting or would know if not for the fact that CLAW was housed in the basement rather than the main floor. Early arrivals were duly informed that, no, CLAW would not be held at ground level but over to the left and down the stairs, first door to the right, thank you very much.

This important tidbit of information was outlined on a sheet of yellow paper in a scrawl with a rushed arrow taped in the middle of the massive bank of front doors. As the weekend progressed, more formal printed out sheets were made and taped up; however, by the time I saw the new signage, the event was well-underway. I’m sure they were useful to someone.

Aside from the distance between everything, there was the matter of the placement of the event: in the basement beneath slabs of concrete. Entering CLAW, you’d find yourself in the Main Hallway. Doors to the right and left with generic seating on either side. If it was unoccupied, you might’ve thought you no-clipped into the Backrooms. Fortunately, there were people milling about rather than Entities. Also, the Main Hallway was perhaps the sole place one could get a decent signal without jumping onto free, slow WiFi or paying for it. Seeing as how CLAW pushed everyone to download the Yapp app to get updates on changes, providing no web access & finding that sweet 6-inch orb of a signal at the middle table in the seat facing north proved difficult.

Over the course of the week, it was quite clear that CLAW was doing its best with what it has and what it has appears to be dwindling or is drastically less than the year before. Whereas CLAW 24 was contained in the Hotel Cleveland almost entirely, CLAW 25 was in an airplane hangar bunker. Whereas CLAW 24 blocked out rooms in adjacent hotels around downtown, CLAW 25’s hotel blocks were accessible by shuttle or rental car 15 miles out. Unlike 24 where there appeared to be more leeway for attendees to be Leather- & Kink-expressive, the I-X Conference Center held CLAW to decidedly more stringent rules.

Below is a list of things I observed:

• The on-site demo space was moved from the I-X to the Bird’s Nest where the playspace was. The words “horrid” and “disappointing” were used to describe this change as it appeared the dungeon gear has been hastily moved in and bunched together. Add a crowd of horny attendees and no time limits for the use of gear, it’s easy to understand how a trip might not be worth it if one had to wait over an hour for a flogging while being jostled around in the meantime. It was also stated that there was no clothing check at the Bird’s Nest.
• No sex allowed in the restrooms. Signs popped up a day or so after the start of the event. Apparently, there’d been some goings-on in the restroom stalls and the center caught wind. Printed signs were direct: “NO SEX.”
• No ass crack or hole allowed. Educators had to cover their demo bottoms’ cracks and issue a verbal disclaimer of, “No ass crack is shown per regulations.” It was amusing and annoying. During the fire play class, the educator covered his boy’s bare ass with a rolled up towel to which someone in the audience said, “Whew! I feel safer already!”
• No outside food allowed even for CLAW. In previous iterations, CLAW provided for volunteers by hosting a lounge for them, a place away from the event where volunteers would rest, relax, and grab a meal. This was done away with and replaced with vouchers. The catch was you had to be around the right CLAW staffer who had the vouchers to receive one. Even then, the food was a notch below airport fare and a peg or two above hospital cuisine, a gastronomic purgatory if ever there was one.
• Decor was kept to the bare minimum. Now, I’m not expecting MET Gala-level realness in a Leather event but there’s something to be said about at least trying to create an experience worth remembering. A Leather Pride flag here and there, a balloon arch, streamers, anything podium, anything would have helped to show that we weren’t underground in an Midwestern airline bunker. Classrooms were spartan with chairs and tables for presenters; large-screen monitors were available if needed. The dining area was…something; consisting of rounds with white tablecloths and chairs under harsh fluorescent lighting. Granted, CLAW TRIED by posting red, white, and blue lights against the walls but that was the sole extravagance, smatterings of colour against off-white walls. The cigar deck was the same and consisted of high-backed chairs, buckets, and an ottoman or two beneath an I-X overhang and more harsh fluorescent lighting.

Lessons Learned

If CLAW chooses to host next year’s event at the I-X again, here are some lessons learned:

• Research the host hotels and decide which one is closest to all the events and has restaurants/stores nearby. Our hotel was reasonably priced but was in a no man’s land of hotels, clinics & lawyers’ offices. Food places were not near but we could stop by a random recording studio if we wanted to drop an EP of sweet beats for your earholes. Think Randy Travis meets Chet Baker meets Metallica meets a carpet of screaming rubber chickens run over by a steam roller.
• Budget for a rental car to allow for some autonomy because we spent $125 on Lyfts over two days. A rental allowed us to come & go as needed; however, spending on average 40 minutes on the road going from hotel to the I-X was a real drag. It felt like we were going to work which didn’t feel great. Also, rental lockers were on the small side. Being a gear guy, stowing my jacket took up the entire locker & I had to cram my purchases into a small box. A rental can afford you lots of trunk space especially if you decide to grab that 18-inch ass toy with the 24-inch circumference.
• Leave the play gear at home; there just wasn’t time or opportunity to schedule a scene especially with so much travel between locations. That and there being little to no information on the amenities of the off-site playspace/dungeon. Had the I-X allowed the demo space to remain, that would have been better but the rules were strict.
• Travel in pairs & groups. There was a report that someone got attacked & mugged a block from the Leather Stallion. The night it happened, the street was pretty dark; however, when we went back the next night, the street lights were on in full force. Kudos t whomever made that happen. If you’re solo, ask on the CLAW socials for folx able to share rides. Next year, I may be able to offer a good boy or two transport. We’ll see; it’ll depend on how good the boy is.
• For the POCs out there: You’re in the Midwest, keep that in mind. Outside of the I-X, the hotel, the Stallion, and the Bird’s Nest is a different world. Outside of the confines of the event, you might run into blatant racism. Coming from California, this is jarring though not at all surprising. At 44, I’ve had a lifetime of dealing with this shit so it’s not shocking. However, if you’ve never experienced it, it can be hard to take. My Pup & I got it during our Lyfts, at the hotel, at restaurants, and at the airport. Unfortunately, that’s part of the POC experience. We didn’t engage in arguments but pushed back when it felt appropriate. We called out a hotel worker, left a restaurant after being ignored, and gave attitude right back to a shitty waiter along with an applicable tip. The state of things as they are, we’ve got to be careful who we respond to that piss us off. Read the room & respond accordingly because SIR wants to see you come back next time in one piece.