02 October 2024

Tonight, the Pup and I attend the monthly meeting of Sacramento’s Masters & slaves Together (MAsT). We’ve been attending since July 2024 after I connected with Director Nocturnal while conducting demos at Sacramento Pride in June.

Sacramento MAsT is one part of MAsT International, “an organization for adults who live, or are interested in, a Master/slave lifestyle.  MAsT provides education, support, and an opportunity to share ideas and gain knowledge of issues that concern Masters and slaves.“

Now, before subs get excited that Sir is a slave-owner, do not get your dander up. I’m not currently in the market to enter a 24/7 Master/slave (M/s) dynamic though I am engaged in Dominant/submissive (D/s) dynamics to varying degrees. I decided to attend MAsT because I’m interested in discussing the intricacies of M/s-D/s relationships with fellow Kinksters. Additionally, it’s something I’ve come to look forward to every month because it gets me out of the house with the Pup where we share space with like-minded folx from all walks of gender expression/sexualities/dynamics/etc.

Regarding the folx from all walks, I have to say that I was initially hesitant to attend my first MAsT meeting because of the mixed audience. Recently, I was talking to a buddy about how it seems like members of the Leather Community tend to hold on to things, especially negative experiences that colour one’s perceptions for the rest of time. We tend to hold grudges and, yes, I’ve been guilty of this on many occasions but the thing I’ve learned is that time changes everything. Where I once felt silently slighted by non-queer Kinkfolx, I now regard ALL Kinkfolx as family. I think what coloured my perception was the immense feeling of queer loneliness I’d felt at the Northwest Leather Celebration (NWLC) where it seemed most existed in heterosexual dynamics. That was in mid-2023 and I’d held on to that feeling for nearly a year, mainly attending queer-centric Leather and Kink events in the meantime.

There’s something to be said about stepping out of one’s bubble and allowing oneself to live in the moment, mixed folx and all. One of the many things I love about being a Kinkster is how much it has fostered my humanistic tendencies. In Kink, I’ve found fertile grounds to cultivate and grow compassion and empathy for all beings and have a little sadistic fun in the process.

What I’ve been enjoying about MAsT is the diversity of attendees and the perspectives each brings to the discussion. Dominants and submissives alike contribute to the collective to create an environment of collaboration. Where else would the Pup and I be able to talk about the evolution of our dynamic to such degrees of detail and be understood from the get-go? Where else could we hear inputs from other kinky, polyamorous folx on the specific dynamics we engage in? Where else could I express my sadism and hedonism and be heard and respected for it?

The answers to these questions have since canceled out hesitations I had before when I felt apart from. I just had to get over myself and go.

All this is to say that it pays to step out of your respective bubble sometimes. I know that the world can really fook you up and leave you feeling like you can’t be a part of something. If you’ve been hurt before, I empathize with you. I’ve been there and sometimes I find myself in that place again.

But try not to give up or give in to whatever shitty lesson the world tried to beat into you.

Know that you are enough of whatever you choose to be: Pup, boy, Domme, brat, Master, slave, Sir.

I know that, when it comes to the Leather Community, things can be less forgiving because you may not know the most popular folx or have the most expensive gear or fit in with whomever the “A-list” folx are that week. But popularity fades, expensive gear can break, and “A-listers” can turn out be A-holes. If knowing all the people or having the best gear pleases you, let that be your motivation vice seeking external validation.

As to the Sacramento MAsT meeting, the Pup and I are glad to have found it and plan on attending as much as we can in the future. It’s a great time and, if you’re in the Sacramento area, check it out. We’ll likely see you there.