15 July 2024

This unexpected airport layover has given me the only quiet time I’ve had in a week. Lessons learned from my travels, kink experiences, and GALA attendance were profound and eye-opening.

I’m in the middle of a busy day, holed up on the floor of Minneapolis’ airport. The flight is delayed leaving me some time to do some writing which I’m grateful for. This is the first shred of private time I’ve had in a week. It’s ironic that I have this momentary solitude in the middle of a busy airport terminal; however, the wonder of effective earbuds makes it possible to be apart from the world without leaving it entirely. I’m thankful to have this time after spending several days cloistered away with three others in a smaller-than-expected hotel room.

There are several lessons learned from my time here, practically, kinkwise, and as a choral member. In the interest of keeping my thoughts in order, I’ll go categorically and save the chorality of it all for last. There might have been a small epiphany.

Practical Travel Lessons

• If I can swing it, I’m getting my own room. There something to be said about sleeping in an actual bed (I slept on a thin, unsexy torture device of a mattress on the floor for most of the trip.) and having a fresh towel everyday (I had to save my towel the entire trip, leaving it to air dry near my floor bed.).
• Bring an umbrella. This wasn’t obvious until I got to Minneapolis where days are unpredictable when it comes to the weather. The day may start arid and bright, then it’s suddenly overcast followed momentarily by a beautiful deluge of rain before the sun comes out again, hotter and more humid. I was grateful for the Skyway because (1) it provided cover from the weather; (2) it was a like warp zone from hotel to performance venues; and (3) I felt like I was in a video game like Resident Evil running through the corridors of Umbrella.
• Stock up on food for the room. Prices at restaurants and coffee stands were absolutely satanic. $10 for a basic ham and cheese sandwich sans mayo/mustard, $4 for a bag of chips, and $5 for a can of soda. Nearby, a chicken shish kebab dish ran for nearly $30. Fortunately, there was a Target centrally-located amidst the hotels downtown that helped; however, I only had energy bars and juice. The rest of the time was spent wandering around looking for a decently-priced entree. I was grateful for Caribou Coffee on the corner serving extra large iced coffee and great breakfast sandwiches.

Lessons for Kinksters

• Pack barebones play gear. I did well packing a practical amount of Leather. Seeing as how there wouldn’t be any BLUF-type events occurring, I packed four of my favorite vests, my Muir cap, a couple sets of armbands, wristbands, and boots, of course. Also, a selection of harness/suspender combos. All this with nary a flogger, paddle, or cane. I wasn’t expecting play time of the kinky kind and I kicked myself when I connected with someone who wanted to get together. Next time, I will pack one flogger, one paddle, my set of travel canes, and one hank of rope.
• Be open to and make time for play. With an event as focused on music as GALA is, it was too easy to blot out anything other than rehearsing, performing, and attending performances. I’m not one for small talk or heading out to see statues especially with groups of folx. My tastes tend to run more nocturnal and primal. There are few places I feel comfortable. Surprisingly, the stage is one but so is a dungeon, a backroom, and a cigar deck. It wasn’t until I connected with someone from D.C. that the possibility for play was made apparent. We had a couple of evenings together and it felt great to indulge my Dominance with a wonderful, service-oriented boy. I hope that we can keep in contact and connect again in the future. (BTW, if you’ve never gone on a cigar walk, I highly recommend it!)
• Represent your Tribe. GALA 2024 was the first non-Leather-centric trip I’ve taken in some time. Seeing as how it was LGBTQ+-focused, I had that immediate sense of kinship; however, I wasn’t certain how much Leather I’d see. I didn’t see much but that didn’t stop me from donning my gear and proudly representing. In a city of colors, I felt at times like the sole black cat in a kit of calicos. I heard tell there were a couple of titleholders there; however, I did not see them or any other Leatherfolx. At least any obvious Leatherfolx. In any case, I was happy to be a representative of my Tribe. I’ve made it a practice in my travels to gear up once I’m past the airport security checkpoints. It provides me a sense of security and familiarity, much-needed in a place not designed for comfort.

Lessons for Choirfolx from a First-time GALA-goer

• Advocate for your chorus & your section. I was in Minneapolis for six days. Of those six days, we had less than three hours of actual chorus work including warmups, rehearsals & performances. The rest of the time was spent figuring out what to do and where to get food. Granted there are hours and hours of performances to catch but there was little-to-no socializing with fellow chorusmembers unless you happened to pass them in the Skyway. It being my first, I’d’ve appreciated more time with fellow section members as the bass section is small enough. In the end, I was there to be part of the chorus and represent as best I could. Though I didn’t feel like we’d done as well as I thought, the audience appreciated our show. I’m planning on providing feedback on coordinating sectional socials at the very least so we can be together more then when we are required.
• You are the master of your own schedule. GALA is intense and there is something happening nearly every moment of the day. It was a bit overwhelming and I found myself shutting down a little bit. I didn’t necessarily want to be on anyone’s schedule so I forged my own path and attended what I wanted when I wanted. If I felt like going back to the room to rest, I did. It can be easy to fall into someone else’s plan especially if you’re unfamiliar with the venue, event, and city. To combat this, I reviewed the schedule and chose what I thought would be interesting and stuck to the plan. I met with fellows for a meal here and there but I left myself free to do what I wanted. If you’re the type that prefers company, by all means, get your buddy and go; however, if you’re like me, it’s perfectly okay to do what you want on your own terms.
• Leave yourself open to experiences that may shift your mind and/or your life. This last point was something I wanted to leave for the very end because I wrote before that I did not expect an epiphany or the heaven’s to split. In the months leading up to GALA, I was extremely skeptical of the claims that GALA would be life-changing. The fervor was almost religious and cult-like as attendees shared experiences on the verge of tears, chests hitching with barely concealed sobs. To be frank, I don’t think my life was altered in a major way; however, my way of thinking as being part of a chorus was affected.
  
  At the closing concert, there were choruses singing, videos shown, and recognitions acknowledged. All well and good but what shifted my thinking was a speaker. Joan Garry, billed as an “internationally recognized champion for the nonprofit sector and a highly sought after executive coach for CEOs at some of the nation’s largest organizations,” provided a pretty effective closing speech, rattling off ten points observed about nonprofits, specifically choruses. Peppered with humor, she spoke on what it meant to her to be part of the choral movement.
  
  Of everything over the course of six days, her characterization of the movement is what spoke to me, more than the concerts and the dances. That to be able to get up in front of crowds is more than just putting on a show, it’s an act of bravery. It got me thinking about the Pride performances my chorus held in smaller Pride festivals around the Sacramento area, places where LGBTQ+ folx were still considered marginal, creepy conservative pockets peppered throughout the geography. Up to this point, I only saw myself as a bass singer in an LGBTQ+ chorus. I didn’t see myself as brave or a beacon of anything. I just sing and that’s that.
  
  Sometimes it takes six days of choral barrage to tenderize his stubborn Sir’s mind enough to get a message through. I see now that being part of the chorus is being part of a movement in a time of massive division. What we do is more than just singing and dancing, it’s offering moments of light to the LGBTQ+ kid seeking connection, it’s bringing levity to the person experiencing loss, it’s caring enough to show up in communities in friendly and not-so-friendly places. Hell, the chorus itself has opened me up to experiences that have been quite wonderful. In the chorus, I have been free to be the proud Leatherman I am as I wear my gear to rehearsals, to meetings, to social events. I am proud to represent my chorus, my community, and my Tribe in this amazing movement.
  

BTW, I’m now in Denver; my flight’s been delayed. I’m looking forward to my own bed, my own bathroom, my Pup, and my Daddy.

Thank Yous

• GALA: For bringing all of us together; I’d like to return in 2028.
• Eagle MPLS: For being a welcoming place and providing the space for my boy and our cigars.
• The Pups at the Eagle: You might not know it but seeing you when I walked in made me feel at home. Also, the Pup who sang “Can You Feel The Love Tonight” on Wednesday night was amazing!
• Caribou Coffee: For keeping Sir caffeinated and fed in mornings; extra large iced coffees were Sir’s fuel.
• First Avenue: For hosting the Blue Party, I loved dancing with some of my chorus folx.
• Minneapolis: For hosting GALA and being a welcoming city to exist in.
• Joan Garry: For injecting some sense into this Sir’s stubborn noggin.
• All The Choruses: For opening my eyes to the choral movement; I’m proud to be a part of it.
• Recon: For bringing me and my boy together.
• Michael: For being of service and setting the bar high; thank you for everything and I look forward to connecting once again.