This is the first of many entries to come documenting things that have happened over weekends exploring Leather and Kink in San Francisco, etc. I’m excited to be sharing my experiences and thoughts with you as I continue my journey in leather and as a Dom. It’s my intention to hopefully provide some insight on. What it means to be someone who has entered the world of leather in kink from a perspective of someone in a marginalized community. I hope that you will enjoy what I have to share and that maybe you are able to take something from it to maybe help you on your own journey. So thank you for reading and let’s get into it.

23-26 February 2024

First and foremost, the weekend started with a banquet held by the 15 Association in the South of Market (SoMa) area of San Francisco. The banquet was well-attended and it was a great thing to see a room full of Leathermen. It was also really inspiring to see folx that I’ve come to know in the Community present and representing. There was a massive silent auction. Some pretty good drinks and a real sense of community. I enjoyed it overall. It was a very chill night and I really did have a great time and it was a great way to kick off the weekend.

I think it’s really important that we, as members of any community, step up and help our organizations. Last weekend, my Daddy and I volunteered to set up and tear down the 15 Association’s play parties. Being of service to an organization like the 15 was a great experience because we got to see how a play party logistically comes together. On another level, I enjoyed knowing we had a hand in creating a safe space where men would be coming in to express themselves, their desires. That, in turn, helped me tremendously when I engaged in two nearly hour-long scenes at the Saturday play party.

My specialty is impact play mixed with sensation play. I always start out with flogging and progress to other items in my arsenal ranging from paddles, canes, and other instruments. I try to incorporate variations in speed, impact, and engage my subject’s senses. I consider myself a sensual sadist meaning I use my body to initiate an intimate connection in between blows and barrages of the senses.

My first scene was with my Daddy who has progressed in his abilities to handle what I dole out. I love that he is an oft-willing subject for my administrations. We’ve been on a journey of discovery with one another for nearly a year and I’ve enjoyed seeing him grow, seeing him channel pain into pleasure, and, well, seeing him writhe on the cross. We have absolute trust in one another and this allows us to push each other to higher states within the context of the scene. I thoroughly enjoyed him allowing me to work on him amidst the screams, snaps, and cries of those surrounding us.

The second scene was with slave boy Jim from Portland, Oregon, a fellow referred to me by a friend. An experienced player, Jim was immensely respectful in his ask to play. As I’d just finished my first scene, I told him that I’d need a few minutes before we could meet. His patience and courtesy were deeply appreciated and I have to say that these attributes go a long way for a Dom like me. When it was time to play, I put him on the cross and began my work.

I have to say that when I’m in-scene and working, my mind is going a mile a moment. Not only am I monitoring my sub’s body, I’m taking in the space we inhabit, the actions I’m taking. I’m also thinking of lessons I’ve learned from observing other Doms and incorporating them as I play. In the scene with my Daddy, I remembered a flogging stance I learned from a Dom in my first 15 play party. In the scene with Jim, I incorporated a method of laying blows that enhanced their effectiveness but also helped me save energy to prolong the scene. I also remembered something another Dom told me: that there were methods to saving one’s energy so that one doesn’t get tired too fast. As I remembered these things, I took time to savor my subs’ reactions that left me with a Cheshire Cat grin. For me, the scene is labour of love and every aspect holds an importance; I strive to let my sub know it’s just me and them and that we’re bonded for the time we’re together, that I care.

slave boy Jim was an excellent player and handled my working very well. In his submission, I noticed his method of breathing when I ramped up the pain. I asked him later about it and he told me he processed the pain by “breathing down from the sky and up from the earth.” What struck me about his explanation was the profundity and depth of his devotion to pleasure, the mechanisms he employed to channel blows to beauty. It took me back to my first impact experience and how natural it was to engage in the alchemy of pleasure as the flogging started and the whips cracked. There is a power in submission, a bravery in opening one’s body, one’s life up to someone else, someone who has the ability to harm, hurt, and heal.

I commend those who step into roles of service, to ensure their Masters, their Sirs, their Dominants are respected, revered, and, to be frank, loved. To the submissives out there, thank you.

At the conclusion of the two scenes, I enjoyed the feedback from Daddy and Jim. Feedback, for a Dom (for me anyway), is vital. If I can bring someone to a place of ecstasy, the “floating place” as I like to call it, then I know I did my work well. Fulfillment has many faces and the dreamy visage of a worked-over subject is a strong validation. When a sub can tell me what they were experiencing and what worked well, I feel affirmed that I am where I’m supposed to be, who I am meant to be. As you can tell, a lot goes on in this Dom’s head. If I can be a part of someone’s equation of pleasure attained, I am honored.

To continue with equations, I feel that submission, Dominance, desire, pain, and pleasure are strong variables that, when coupled with respect, love, and experience, combine to calculate the sum of something surreal and beautiful. It could be an ongoing dynamic or an intermittent scene.

While the weekend was full of positive experiences, I did have to put a dynamic on the backburner; a decision that was not made lightly and that’s probably something I’ll write about later. In this instance, I left the door open for future play but chose to put efforts for an ongoing dynamic on hold.

After the play party, Daddy and I called it a night and hit the streets of San Francisco. Aftercare, for me, can consist of a range of things from a good meal to good sex. In this instance, we found some fried chicken that hit the spot. Before the lights went out, we engaged in some great aftercare that sent me off to a quite restful sleep. The following day, we rested before heading to the 15’s 2nd play party for tear down.

Regarding rest, I think it’s vital. Because I’m not as young as I once was, my body needs a little more time to recover so taking Sunday to rest was quite necessary. While I try to maintain my body, engaging in nearly two hours of nearly non-stop play is still taxing. My shoulder was a little sore but I was in otherwise good shape; however, it was a day to take in quality time with Daddy. We tore down the play party, then hit the Eagle for a cigar on a near-empty patio. There can be nothing better than savoring a cigar unbothered. I also loved that Daddy and I were geared up in full kit for the time we were at the Eagle. Afterward, we grabbed food and headed home; a great cap to a chill day.

On Monday, I left Daddy’s place and headed down to SoMa for the fourth session of rope exploration with photographer and prolific kinkster Mark Chester. We’ve been meeting for a few months now and he has been gracious in allowing me to practice rope on him. Our time together is special in that there is a mutual respect, desires to learn and explore, and to just have fun with it. What I’ve found with Mark is that rope doesn’t have to be perfect, that there are avenues of improvisation when constructing a scene. What I’ve been enjoying with Mark is how we key into each other’s energy and I find myself growing ever more comfortable in the role of a rope Top. In this session, we explored hog ties and it was awesome. What started out out as exploration has expanded into forms of play, forms I’ve heard about but had not had the opportunity to engage in. For example, cigar ash play and bootplay were things I’d heard about; in Mark, I’ve had tastes and loved what I’ve tasted. At one point, Mark was hogtied on the floor and I had my boot on his back, my hands grasping and pulling taut the rope through a carbiner hoist hanging from the ceiling that pulled him limb back and up. As he moaning, I glanced at a mirror and saw myself. It was surreal and I took a moment to appreciate how far I’ve come in my journey and how exciting it’s been so far. The question that came up at that time was, “Who even are you?” I didn’t answer. Instead, I enjoyed the rest of the session that included some intense nipple play that soothed my sadistic side. As our time concluded, Mark and I embraced, thanking each other for giving time and energy.

I left his place feeling calm, my gear bag feeling not at all heavy on my shoulder, my boots falling rhythmically on the sidewalk as evening traffic clamored down Folsom Street. I stood at the corner waiting to cross in my Leather vest, t-shirt, jeans, and boots, the gear bag now at my feet. There was a chill in the air that cooled the sweat beneath my shirt. A Daddy walked by as the walking light turned green. Picking up my gear bag, I took in the moment and reflected on how far I’d come as a Dom, a person, a Leatherman. A young man passed me mid-street and I noted his up-and-down gaze, what did he see?

It wasn’t the nervous new Dom I was who gave all his energy too soon nor was it the shy Leatherman sitting his truck agonizing over stepping out in public locally for the first time. Perhaps he saw the prospect of pleasure, an object to fear, or just another Folsom Street denizen on his way to fight, fuck, or feed on the life bustling though a SoMa evening.

I nodded to him as he passed before making my way home once again.